Fanfic MST #1: TEEN FORTRESS 2, a Team Fortress 2 fanfic (Part 5)

21 Aug

As soon as I finished the last MST, I’ve been informed that Teen Fortress 2 updated again so since school hasn’t started yet. I thought I’d get this out of the way.

For the n00bs:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Okay now here we go!

AN SOME ON CALLED ANOON SAID I STOL THE STORY PLOT FROM A OTHER GUY THAT IS FALSE LYES AN SANDER! I DIDANT NO BOUT THE STORY UNTIL NOW BUT U CAN SEE ITS RONG!1

It’s okay. I didn’t know about the story until now either…your writing still stinks though…

SNIPER AINT BULLAY AN THE PRINPALS NAME IS GLADOS NOT ANONCER OR WHAT EVER1 U ARE JUST A FLAMER TROLL

You know, while the reviewer’s argument was very persuasive, the evidence could just also be of pure coincidence. You’ll never know when someone may think up of the same idea of the Team Fortress 2 gang being teens.

PS I GOT TELLED THAT A BLOOG BOUT HAF WORLDS SAID THAT SCOT WAS MOLESTRAPIN KATTY IN HISBALLS1 SCOT IS NOT AN AMINAL MOLESTRAPER ITS THE BAG HE CARRYS HES BAT AN BASBALLS IN!

So, I see she found Skepkitty’s MST.

In case you don’t know what Marrissa’s talking about, she’s talking about this. And for laughs, I decided to leave a quote from her MST here:

“nIper yur bakack is full of gun an homeork Katty wont fit in there my ballsack only has balls an Marrissa so theres more room.”

Wait a sec. He’s keeping his bat in his ballsack, too?

Don’t you think this would be… rather visible through his pants?

I also find it interesting how the Scout’s ballsack supposedly has more room than the Sniper’s backpack.

Oh wait, it gets better!

A crunchmunch noses started common from my ballsack an I looked in an a saw… Katty was eatin the balls!

Allow me to reiterate:

KATTY, THE ESCAPED KOALA BEAR NAMED AFTER THE SCOUT’S DEAD GIRLFRIEND, WHO IS CURRENTLY IN THE SCOUT’S BALLSACK FOR SAFEKEEPING, IS EATING THE SCOUT’S TESTICLES AND IT’S MAKING A “CRUNCHMUNCH” NOISE.

I’m willing to bet my male readers are wincing at the thought. Though the Scout apparently didn’t even notice until the noise tipped him off — by the way, that noise doesn’t sound like the noise that should be happening in such a situation (not that I have any experience in the matter). For that matter, koalas have a highly exclusive diet, one that does not include “human testicles”.

While I knew from the start it was a sack full of baseballs and a baseball bat, Skepkitty thought the Scout was actually putting Katty in his pants! It’s not really a surprise that that came to her knowing that I toyed around with that joke in my MST of that chapter (how many times will I say “that”?).

Okay, on with the MST!

PPS THIS CHAPS FROM WHEETLYS POV

Okay then again, maybe I should run for my life.

Marrissa’s done this before and you would not believe how awful it was! If you thought Wheatley’s dialogue was bad, you haven’t seen anything yet…

TEEN FORTRESS 2

CHAPTER FIFE: ITS HIS LIFE!

“Chapter Fife“?

I woked up in a place where he soddin bloody hell was I? There was to robots one a blue ball an the other a orange line thing an Cave Jonson lookin reel mean.

Wow, just the first sentence alone is filled with misused British slang terms.

And how did Atlas and P-Body get there?

“Whats goin on you wankin Sod!” I britished at me with most lowd.

You were “britishing” at yourself?

Gave was loling all evil an said “These are Altas an P-Boy there from the future!” I o-mouthed it was bloody mad.

“P-Boy”? I can never go without laughing at that ridiculous name!

And “Gave”? Who’s “Gave”?

“They telled me bout the future wif robots an portal guns an things so Im goin a make some robos an you Wheatly will be my test subjekt!” He took out a wankin huge nettle an shoot me an I blacked oot.When I was sleep Cave gotted to work. First he removed my skelton eksept for my head so I was ball shaped, then turned my skin to mettle (lick how the wizards can turn led to gold in movies) an taked an eye out so I only had one bloody big one but he kept my man balls.

Does this mean I’m going to lose my chocolate bar?

And how does he know how Cave turned him into a “robot ball” if he was asleep the entire time?

There better be an explanation…

But the good news is that he got to keep his testicles.

I waked up an screemed becos I was transfarmed.

“Goodbye Wheetly the dude an Hello Wheatly the Robo Ball!” Cave lolled with mad an mean. Then he ponted to a time mashine. “Now yur goin to the future b****!” Atlas lolled an he an P-Boy started smokin drugs with Cabe Joneson. I got put in the time mashine an there was a big lite flash an I was gon to the future.

BAK TO SCOUTS POV

Oh thank goodness! I’d prefer this over Wheatley’s POV, any day!

“Now class gife me yur homework.” Mr. Sanpe grundled when I rembered that I had been out all nite on a date with Pyro an forgot to do it! “Weres yur homework Scot or shuld I say HEMEFORDINT/” Mr. Sanpe was a hobophobe so he didant lick hemaofdites like he thot I was one.

“Scot”‘s not a hobo, he lives with Sniper. But I guess it’s a lot better than being a “homophone” though…

He punched me feces an went back to desk an drank beer.

Why are the “Scot” ‘s feces even in the classroom anyway? Same goes for the beer.

“Whats his problem?” I said rubbin my blak eye to Solder.

I didn’t know if you punch people’s feces, it causes them to get black eyes.

“Mr. Sanpe used to be a teecher in British bu he killed the prinsipal but was not proved so he came to teach at Portal High School an changed his name.”

You know, if I’m not mistaken, Snape killed Dumbledore in “The Half-Blood Prince” and Dumbledore is sort of like the principal of Hogwarts and not to mention, people have British accents in Harry Potter so I can’t help but think Mr. Sanpe is actually Snape. But, out of all the places he could’ve chosen to teach at, why Portal High School? WHY!?

He was a jerk an gave me lots of fs so I didant like him at alls. One day I wold get back at him maybe play a big prank or somefin. Sundenly Caraline!

Where?

“By way Im havin a party at my hose an yur all invited!” It was gonna be the big bowot for the seinor graduashun (Caroline was a junor but since her mom is prinpal she throws partys for them).

For a minute there, I thought it said “grandson” but then I reread it.

“Well be there Car!” She happeied an gave out some more invites.

Car? Who’s Car? I don’t know a Car.

How can you “happeied”?

MEENWHILE IN FLORDA

Affer Wulfs kill my bros became goth emos and satanists who did orjies an sakrifised pepole an did all the drugs an beer.

Great. It’s not only a ripoff of “Teen fOtress Too” but of “My Immortal” as well (Still questioning if she even stole from the first one though)!

The “orjies” and “sakrifised pepole” are new though.

They was castin a dark spell to kill me for revange an jus needed a sakriface. The sakriface was a hard catch, a strongman named Sextone Hall the bros started to orjy an drink the beer an blood.

Okay, the first time I read this sentence, I didn’t get it and even now I still don’t get what she’s saying. All that I can infer is that it’s something about the brothers having sex with each other in the hall?

Maybe it’ll come to me at some point what she’s actually saying.

Then pumped a dagger in Sexton’s heart an the blood was gone all splash splash splash!

Hey, what do you know? I think it just came to me. They’re using a guy named Sexton to sacrifice!

Wow, I’m late.

There drugs bongs STARTED TO SMOKE an a guy was there.

You mean their bongs started to smoke themselves?

Hey, who’s that guy?

He was super mussely an riped with a angry mustash. It was… DOG THE BOWNTY HUNNER!

Oh no! It’s a bounty hunter named “Dog”! O.M.G.

And the mustache was angry?

TO BE CONTINUED!

SEE WAS HAT IN THE RIPEOF TEEN FORTRESS 2?

No, but part of it was a ripoff of “My Immortal” though…

NO BECOS I DIDANT COPY IT YOU FALMERS!11!

Sorry, I don’t know what “falmers” are, but I don’t think they sound very nice though.

Chapter 6 coming soon…

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3 Responses to “Fanfic MST #1: TEEN FORTRESS 2, a Team Fortress 2 fanfic (Part 5)”

  1. Came from TV Tropes August 21, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    I’m pretty sure the Sextone guy is meant to be Saxton Hale from Team Fortress 2.

    • prettydog200 August 21, 2011 at 7:44 pm #

      Oh really? I don’t think I’ve seen or heard about him until now.
      Stupid typos!

  2. ASBusinessMagnet August 22, 2011 at 10:46 am #

    Also, it was a ripoff of My Immortal? Seeing how cool things outdo each other in ITS MY LIFE! and TEEN FORTRESS 2 I’d say it is more of a ripoff of HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/ThirtyHs).

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