Sorry I’m late with this chapter. I’ve been pretty busy with school lately.
AN OK GUYZ IVE BEEN THINKIN AN A GUY NAME LOGIC EDTOR WANTS TO EDIT MY STORY AN MAKE IT MORE BETTER.
YAY.
BUT I SEED LOTS OF TV SHOWS WERE THEY CHANG STUFF THEN PEPOLE DONT LICK IT NO MORE SO I WAS WORRY BOUT THE CHANGES THEN I HAD IDEEA! I WILL PUT BOTH TEH UNCUT AN UNSENSORED VERSHUN AN LOGIC CORRECSHUN SO YOU CAN DESIDE WICH ONE YOU LIKE YURSELF!
I don’t know really. Probably I’d like Logic’s edits a little better but who am I to decide? I haven’t even read the edited chapter yet.
EVRYONE WINS!
THIS IS THE UNCUT AN UNSENSORED VERSON NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LOGIKS EDITS.
TEEN FORTRESS 2
CHAPTER SEVEN: THE NEW GIRL
What? No messed up chapter names this time?
It had been a weke sense the kill of Principal GLaDOS an we had a new princepal named Business Man hoo was cool an rote stories an stuff.
So apparently ASBusinessMagnet is part of this story?
Sniper an me was walkin to school when all of sudden Solder flied in on his rocket gun with cry in his feces.This was supper shockin since I never seen Solder cry ever
Neither have I. I’ve never seen the Soldier cry in his feces either so don’t worry Scot.
FLASHBACK
We was playin baseball at jim class an I stepped up to bat with Marrissa. Solder was pichin the balls an I batted them with lick a 3000 average wen his shoo untied.
A 3000 average eh? Can you even get that kind of average in actual baseball?
Solder bended down to tie but I batted ball to soon an it hit hims butt an impacted his anus. “SOLDER IM SOOOOOO SORRY!1!” I ran to him for cumfort but he was ok. “Dont worry Scot a reel man like me never cry!”
FLASHBACK OVER
If Solder was cryin now it must been relay bad news. “Guys Jenny dumbed me” This was bad becos Jenny an Solder had been goin steady for almost a moth now.
So what happened to being a “reel man”, Soldier?
“Turns ot she was a spy from British to assinate Mr. Sanpe!” We all o-mouthed wen Solder said that it was big spurise! “An worst off all: she said that a other guy from British named Harry wents unnercover to an change his looks an name to… WHEATLY!
WHAT!?
Okay, WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I don’t care if the Soldier becomes emo from breaking up with Ginny Weasley, or the Teen Fortress 2 team meeting the Care Bears or even the appearance of Marrissa Roberts herself. Nothing will ever and I mean EVER compare to the horrifying explanation of Harry Potter being Wheatley!
Seriously, this has got to be the most terrifying explanation I’ve heard from Marrissa yet!
Buty he got amneesha an forgot he was Harry an now no none can find him.” I realiced we hadnt seen Wheatly/Harry in a long tim this was bad.
That makes SOOOO.
MUCH.
SENSE.
“But what bout Mr. Sanpe?” Sniper angryed he didant like Mr. Sanpe an wanted to revnage him with me but we culdant if he was died. “Part of bad news she dumbed me ass oon as she kill him!” Mr. Sanpe was ded an I shulda ben happy but I wasant. I just wanted to revnage him not kill. We walked rest of way with heads on lo.
Wen we arrived I o-mouthed in shock there was a new girl! She was super hot an pretty even more than Pyro (but im not a cheeta so I didant thin that way)
I was wondering where Marrissa was…
All the guys was tryin a ask her out an sex her but she just smied an said “Sorry duds Im takin =D” She was walkin wif Caroline carryin a robo ball.
Befour we cold ask hoo the new girl was Gabe Jonson an Ratman ranned up to us wif the rest of Teen Fortress 2! “Guys thats my future dotter Marrissa Roberts we need to help her future!”
Gosh Gabe, you’re so gullible!
We o-mouthed but Ingineer made a smartly an said “Dont worry Gabe I just passed my time mashine exams I can build her one reel good.”
Gee. I didn’t know there were exams like that. Why haven’t I heard of these time machine exams before? Oh yeah, because they don’t exist!
Gabe claped him on the back an we headed for are class befour lunch wen it wold go down.
Histry with Mr. Pursell was boron becos I coldant stop thinkin bout Marrissa an how she was future.
You know, “boron” would’ve been funnier if Mr. Pursell was a science teacher rather than a History teacher.
Maybe befour she leafed she cold tell me my future an if I was merried Pyro? Ratamn was sittin next to me an lookin happy so I asked “Rutman why yur happy if Cave Jonson exploded yur balls?”
“Dont worry Scot I replased them with…” An he pulled down his pants an I saw that his man thingys was now too robo balls the space an rick cores! “Balls of steel!” He happied at havin balls a gain an I felt happy to becos not havin balls in a bad thing if yur a guy.
“Man thingys”? They’re called testicles, Marissa. Please come back when you are mature enough not to call human testicles “man thingys”.
Mr. Pursell was drawin pictures of a dog an rabbit solvin criem when the door bustled open wif mad an screemin.I guy wif a mask like batman flowed in an landed it was… SPY!
So Mr. Pursell was drawing Sam and Max?
Also, I don’t know about you people but I don’t think the Spy’s mask looks like Batman’s AT. ALL.
“Guys im sorry bout befour but Caroline is in hooge danger we have to help:” We runned out of the room an I saw Gabe Jonson an the rest of Teen Fortress 2 goin to the jim an ready for a fite.
We got there I saw Marrissa an Caroline an Wheatly the robo ball gettin coronered by THOSE JERK ROBOTS ALTAS AN P-BOBY.
*chuckles* P-Boby…
Heavy got a determant look on his feces an russianed into the room.
Who knew feces could be so determined.
“OH NO YOU DONT!” Heevy landed an crushed Atlas an P-Body like sqiwsh so Marrissa an Caroline were safed. “You got heer just in time lol.” Caroline said lolling with happy an relife.
“My name is russian name so pepole just call me Heevy cos Im real fat lol.” Heavy shacked Marrissas hand an she smiled at thim.
I’M. MAD.
THE HEAVY IS NOT FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!
“These are my frends we all have cool niknames they are Scot, Solder, Spy, Sniper, Demonman, Medik, Ingineer and Pyro an were all called TEEN FORTRESS 2!”
“Well little lady I herd you needed a time mashine builted an I passed my time mashine exams so I can help.” Ingineer got to work on makin Marrissa future. “The mashine is compleet!” He happied an Marrissa an Wheatly got into there.
Well, that was quick.
But…
*O-mouthes* But, what?
“Marrissa I mad this nettle that gives you powers.” Ingineer said to Marrissa. “No lol I already have them in the future this most be how I gotted them in the first place.” She said in voice lick hevan.
And obviously the Sue knows everything and has a strange voice that is somehow licking heaven? Whut?
“Ok then Ill put them in Caroline so when she babys you yull have them.” An he put the nettle in Paroline an she got alls glowy.
Then a evel lolling came from the room an it was… CAVE JONSON an a bunch of people hoo look licked Teen Fortress 2 but mad an mean. “I AM CAVE JONSON! GABE JONSONS MORE EVIL TWIN! Aslo I cloned yur friends and made evil ones there called TEEN FORTRESS 2!”
Why do they have the same name? Wouldn’t that be confusing? Why couldn’t she call them Bad Teen Fortress 2 or Evil Teen Fortress 2 instead of just plain old “TEEN FORTRESS 2”?
I was sooo mad that they stealt are name an was evil wen Teen Fortress 2 was opposed to be the good guys.
Marrissa an Cave Jonson had a big fite with lots of ackshun an stuff but that all ready happoned in ITS MY LIFE so go reed that first becos this is the seekwill spinnoff so you shold all ready no that. After the pig fight Marrissa flied back in an we all cheered “MARRISSA MARRISSA YAY!” We all huged her becos she was a hero an then Marrissa went into the mashine with some tendar family moments wif Gabe an Caroloin.
But befour it cold happen there was a gun shoot noise… CARLINE WAS GOT SHOT! Marrissa was staked in the mashine an coldant get out so instade Gabe ran up to Cave the gun man an roundhose kicked his head an it exploded and the bad Teen Fortres 2 ran way!
…wusses…
The Medik went up to Caroline but said “Im sorry Gabe but she will dye soon” with tear in eyes.
I find this to be really OOC since the Medic is more sadistic than sympathetic
(and if he does have a sympathetic side, don’t kill me).
Gbae the most mad ever an say “NOOOOOOOOOOO!11!”
“Gabe… Marrissa… I love you…” An she died. “Carlion I will build you a new robot body an it will be called… GLaDOS in onor of yur dead mother!” Marrissa got send back to the future (lol) an we cryed.
I have no idea why there is a lol in parentheses.
Affer the cryin was done we left the jim, school was canceled do to Caroline dyin an the cheerleeders gettin molestraped by Cave Jonson an the jocks gettin beet up.
Something tells me that the author isn’t very fond of preps…or jocks…
I was walkin bake to Sniper an mes hose when I saw Spy standin at a bridge wif gun hand.
You mean the Spy cut has arm off and replaced it with a gun?
“Thanks Spy you are a reel hero.” I telled him but Spy just keept cryin. “No Im not. I was to late an Carlnie is kill. She was my tru love an I cant life without her.” Spy helded up the gun. “No Spy Gabe said he can rebuild!” But Spy didant care.
“Then shell be Gabes for evar.” He frenched an pull trigger an blood an branes wnet everywere it was sooo gross. A copple was havin a picknick below an the blood an branes went all on them so thru up. Now I had got home an tell Sniper the sad news…
TO BE CONTINUED
THAT WAS A REEL SAD CHAPTER I THINK NEXT ON WILL BE MORE HAPPIED AN FUNNY MAYBE ITLL BE BOUT MEDIK ORE SOMETHIN?
Oh gosh! Not a chapter about the Med- I-I mean OH BOY! :D
HIT THE BERSERK BUTTON! 
I’d forgotten how terrible this chapter is. I think this is the one where I could barely say anything funny because I was too depressed at how much it sucked.
Anyway, this is awesome. I lolled. XD
I could feel your pain with this chapter.
This chapter was really hard for me to MST as well…but it wasn’t as depressing…
And thank you! :D