Fanfic MST #1: TEEN FORTRESS 2, a Team Fortress 2 fanfic

16 Aug

So like I said on my about page, I’m going to do Fanfiction MSTs on this blog because…well…they’re fun.

This Fanfic was written by MarissaTheWriter who’s author of the the infamous “ IT’S MY LIFE” fanfiction which has been MSTed by TheSkepKitty and also has it’s own TV Tropes page.

So as you can tell, this fanfiction is bad. Really bad.

But who am I to be giving you an opinion, let’s dive right into TEEN FORTRESS 2! (and yes, it’s called “TEEN Fortress” instead of “Team Fortress”)

(Note: Please excuse me if I mess up because I’m sort of new to “Team Fortress 2″ while my brother is practically the TF2 encyclopedia)

OK GUYS IM HAVIN TORBLE THINKIN UP WHAT THE STORY PLOT FOR TEEN FORTES 2 WILL BEEN BUT HEERS THE PROLOG FOR NOW.

I lost all hope in this Fanfic just by reading the Author’s Note.

TEEN FORTRESS 2

CHAPTER 1: MEET THE SCOT

Hi my nam is Scot an I live in Florda wif my mom an dad an my ate mad dog brothors. They are mad gos becos my dad is a dog an my mom is humon so im half so I can ran reely fast. My bros was always beetin me up an hurtin me an stuff. “Hey Scot yuo must do are homeork an yurs but well eat yurs so you get a bad grad LOL!” My bros sayd an started to pump at me.

LOLWHUT? Okay, there are sooo many things wrong with this paragraph.

  1. Since when did the Scout live in Florida? Doesn’t he live in Boston?
  2. Why is the Scout half dog? I understand that he calls his brothers “mad-dogs” but aren’t you going a little too literal with that?

“U GUYS ARE JUST DERKS!1!” I runned to my room an cocked the door an cried. Thins wasnt good for me an I was serios derpessed an I even thot bout maybe becomin a goth emo. No thing was happy heer, an note ven my girlfrend cold fix it. My girlfrind wsa named Katty Smithereens (U NO HOO U ARE KATTY!) but my bros killd her an defeced her corpse. (They didant get in troble becos there dogs an dogs cant get arrested). CASH BOOM BANG said the door my bros was breakin it down!

I swear I thought he said “DERPS”

I wish I had some emo songs to give him but I gave them to “DA REEL GOFFZ” instead. (That was a “My Immortal” reference)

“Yur gonna die now b******!” Wulf said he was my oldest brother an the most meen. I gotted out my baseball bat that I niknamed Marrissa for some reson I didnt rember. Holdin it tite I pulled op the door an hitted Wulf on the dum head an he died. “OMFG!” My bros OMFGed at the site of the kill. They ranned off an did poops from scarred but this was not god. I WAS A murder now! I wold have to go on the run.

Of course you don’t remember! The author won’t tell you!

Since when did we start talking about god?

Wile my bros was still cryin at Wulfs kill I put my thighs into my handbag (becos its florda an everyone has a handbag there lol) an roundhose kicked the door down. “OMG HE IS ESKAPIN KILL THE MUDRE!1!1″ This was my coo so I runned more faster than ever befour but a trane came. “GET HIIM!” Time was runnin out so I had to do fast an jumped over the trane an landed an ranned so more.

Okay, that’s stereotypical Florida. Not everyone in Florida has a handbag.

Dang, I wish I could jump over a train while my thighs were in a handbag.

It was lick three weeks I ran from them an then I saw a place that was… PORTAL HIGH SCHOOL! Sum kids was talkin an saw me an one came over with a sexay austrial aksent. “Gdday you most be the new xchange student. You can call me Snipper becos I can shoot reel good lol.” I nodded kinna confused at whats goin on an Sniper taked me to the other guys.

I was pretty much sure before I read this that the Sniper has an Australian accent.

“This is the new studant hes new.” The guys was a fat guy, a doktor guy, a soot man, a solder, a guy wif a mask like batman, an blak guy with guns an boms. “Were all best frends an have cool niknames they are Heevy, Ingineer, Demoan, Medik, Spy, Solder an im Sniper.” A mussely guy with a hot gurl waved by at us. “Those are are friends Gabe Jonson an his girlfriend Caroloin.”

Hey look, it’s the guy who came from the “Department of Redundancy Department!”

And Heavy’s not fat. LEAVE THE HEAVY ALONE!

“Nise to meet you all I am Scot.” But they mistaked me for saying Scout so that was my new nikname! Then a guy.

Of course. That make PERFECT sense! And OMG who could the guy possibly be!?

“Bloody hell hoos the soddin new wanker?”He britished at me he was tall with blond hare an gasses an like nerd. “I am the Scot.” I happied to him with my new nikname.

“Britished” and “Happied?”

“Britished” is racist, man! D:

Wait, who’s the only guy I know from Valve who “Britishes?”

Oh no.

Please don’t tell me.

THAT BETTER NOT BE…

“Well my names… WHEATLY!’1’1″!”

OH GOD!

TO BE CONTINUED!

OMG WHEETLY HOWS IT HAPPENED? FIN OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF TEEN FORTOISE 2!

Yes author, would you care to explain why Wheatley’s human because everyone would love to know!

Chapter 2 coming soon…

6 Responses to “Fanfic MST #1: TEEN FORTRESS 2, a Team Fortress 2 fanfic”

  1. Came from TV Tropes August 16, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    Good first review! I like it, as for human Wheatley, a later chapter seems to imply that this is the origin of how he became a core.

    • prettydog200 August 16, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

      Thanks! :D I tried my best to be original =w=

      I’m thinking that too but I think Marrissa might come up with a rather more insane explanation. I’ve been waiting for Chapter 4 FOR. EVER.
      I go read it now.

  2. hotshot bald cop August 30, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    This made me laugh for a long time.

  3. Jowee September 11, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    ‘Ey. Nice job on the MST. Oh, and Wheatley isn’t the only VALVe person who britishes- RICHARD LORD!

  4. Jowee November 1, 2011 at 10:48 pm #

    I’m in Florida and I do not currently own a handbag. Myth disproved.

    • prettydog200 November 2, 2011 at 5:23 am #

      I assure you that many Floridians agree with you also. :)

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